Archive for the ‘Video Games’ Category

Multiplayer Gaming and Me

Posted: August 13, 2010 in Humor, Video Games

I’m starting to think there may be something wrong with me. See, I play video games as an escape from real-life. Most days, I get up and go to work with nine guys. I spend all day going back and forth to and from calls for service. When I fire up the PC or PS3, i just want to unplug. Is that so wrong?

I’m starting to feel like I must be the only person in the world that feels this way. It seems like every new blockbuster video game is all about the multiplayer. The games are either all about deathmatch, or capture the flag. If it’s not that, it’s an mmorpg. Maybe I’ve become the old man in the rocking chair screaming, “You crazy kids, get off my lawn!”

It’s gotten so bad, I have actually considered playing an mmorpg. Now, don’t get me wrong, I still don’t want teenagers on my lawn, but The Old Republic seems too good to pass up. Who doesn’t want to revisit The Old Republic in the aftermath of the Jedi Civil War?

If I am not being alienated by the ads, it’s the forums. I don’t spend a lot of time discussing things on game forums because I don’t like people, but there is usually good information to be found on the forums. That is if you can get past all the “X game is not a part of Y genre,” “how can you possibly like that game, Noob!” and “This game was great, but it needs a multiplayer function!” It seems like every game that I have enjoyed as a solely single-player game, Fallout 3, Dragon Age:Origins, and Mass Effect 2, is chastised for not having multiplayer.

I’m sick of multiplayer. Am I the only gamer geek that meets enough people in real life that I don’t have to socialize online. Between Facebook, Twitter, and all the multiplayer games, I can’t get away from people. As of now, there are still enough games without social components that I can still escape people. It just seems like before long I won’t be able to play a game, or turn on a computer without having to weave my through avatars like I’m moving accross a crowded barroom to get a drink. Well, I gotta go grab my shotgun. I think I just heard some kooky teenagers trampling my grass.



What was I to do? Like any legendary hero from your favorite video, I persevered. I continued on my quest to find a game to keep me entertained. I pushed on through the boggy marsh of despair. I climbed the foreboding mountain of crappy shooters with pretty graphics. Did you know it’s nigh impossible to find an RPG that’s more than running around, and pushing a button these days? I pushed forth with my impossible mission until, at long last, I found what I sought: DeathSpank!

Yes, I know. DeathSpank is a whack-a-mole RPG, but it’s more than that. It’s a perfect game to waste time with when you’ve got nothing else to do. Or when you have other things to do, but you really don’t feel like doing them.

While it is true, in DeathSpank, you pretty much run around, and push a button, but this game is entertaining for other reasons. It’s a humorous, light-hearted, experience that pokes fun of video games and itself. The sweet weapons, like the demon poop hammer, keep you playing just to see what the next weapon will be. The dialogue is funny with some well placed pop culture references. Everything a geek could want. While the graphics aren’t super high speed, they are certainly perfect for the game. They give the game a whimsical feel, and are a perfect compliment to the humorous storyline.

DeathSpank won’t redefine the industry or the genre. It will keep you entertained for several hours, and is worth the money.

Don’t Buy Games Out of Boredom

So there I am in front of my computer. My wife out of town for the week, and I have no new, super-awesome games to play while she is gone. I fired up Steam, and began to browse. I like Role Playing Games, RPGs. I wasn’t looking to find the next blockbuster, I just wanted something to kill the time while my wife is away. So I spent the nine bucks on this new game, Dimensity by Dagger Games. I know the name is stupid, but I was bored and figured, what the hell. Don’t waste your money. Since the game is small time, you won’t find much info on it.

Dimensity is basically every other Whack-a-Mole RPG you’ve ever played, but with some elements of real time strategy (games like Command and Conquer) mixed in. Yeah, you get to build buildings, and create troops to assist your main character. Oh you know how I said it was like every other Whack-a-Mole RPG, well, not entirely, the story was one of the worst, and the voice acting is atrocious. The game almost appears as if the developers sat around and brainstormed wondering, “what is it that gamers hate about the Whack-a-Mole RPG? They’re not deep enough, right? To make our game deeper, we will eschew rich character development, and plot, and replace them with a half assed RTS interface!” All it did was make gameplay unwieldy and complicated. A note to game designers: Complicated does not equal deep.

Maybe I’m being a bit unfair. Maybe it’s more of a personal taste sort of thing. I don’t really care for RTS games. I’ve tried them, and they are just not my cup ‘o tea. I’m also not a big fan of the whack-a-Mole RPGs. I prefer games that emphasize character development, and story. Maybe that’s true of the majority of gamers. It’s certainly possible that if you, dear reader, enjoy both Whack-a-Mole RPGs and RTS games, then you may enjoy this title. I would venture to guess; however, that if you only like one or the other then you will probably not like this game. It doesn’t seem to do either very well. But, hey, don’t take my word for it.

I played for an hour, then uninstalled it, wishing I could get my money back. C’est la vie, right?

So I continued on my quest…

[To Be Continued]