Posts Tagged ‘death’

From Des Moines Register

The world will rock a little less hard as one of the founding members of one of my favorites bands is dead:

Urbandale police are investigating the death of the bass guitarist for Grammy award-winning Slipknot at a local hotel.

In memory of Paul Gray: (NSFW for naughty words and general Slipknottery)


And while I’m paying tribute to dead members of my favorite bands:

Oh well. I guess it’s time to go drink, and aggravate the succubus that holds my unearthly leash (AKA my wife) by playing copious amounts of Slipknot at volumes that would kill mere mortals.


Apparently, according to Atlanta Journal Constitution, Dekalb County, Georgia is in a tizzy behind two recent taser deaths.

“Of course I’m concerned,” said Commissioner Sharon Barnes Sutton, chair of the public safety committee. “I do need to find out what actually happened and if it’s a coincidence or if there is a reason to look to see if we need to change our policies and procedures.”

It doesn’t take much more than a quick perusal of the story to figure out what’s going on here:

Paramedics were called to Audrecas Davis’ room at the Budgetel Inn on Chamblee-Tucker Road on May 9 after motel staff found him passed out. Paramedics summoned police after Davis, who was 375 pounds, awoke during treatment and became combative, according to a police report obtained by the AJC.


Police used a Taser on Olawunmi twice after she crashed the stolen car, refused to comply with officers’ commanders (sic) and became combative, according to a police report. The woman, who was 5-foot-3 and 350 pounds, became unresponsive shortly after the second stun.

I’m no forensic scientist but this doesn’t seem like it’s hard to figure out why these two fine upstanding members of the community are dead. I think even this reporter figured it out. It seems as if he’s hinting at it without actually saying, “Hey, morons, the taser killed these people because their blood was probably 75% bacon fat!”

Unfortunately, I see where this is headed. Soon the police will no longer be able to make a decision to use the taser based solely on whether the force is justified. Now, they’ll have to determine if the suspect is obese.

The thing is, before the widespread use of tasers, fatass crackfiends would fight the police and drop dead from the exertion of the struggle. Hippies everywhere were trying to pin those deaths on police wrongdoing. Now they have a boogeyman to blame: The taser! Oh the Huge Manatee!